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Dalek Meditation for Humans

by Conner Flynn

I don’t know about this meditation video. I tried listening to this, but instead of relaxed or focused, it made me all nervous and jittery. I also now have an eye twitch I can’t get rid of and I jump at everything. Probably just means that I am a sane human who could never relax with a Dalek around. See, they want you relaxed and in a state of calm, so that when they come for you, you won’t run and they can just disintegrate you real easy. It is their new master plan for an invasion of Earth.

So follow this guided “meditation,” and if it relaxes you, you are doing it wrong. Try again, until you are prepared for them.

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